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Pat :: The challenges and ultimate rewards of foster parenting
What might have been an early retirement became a newfound calling for Pat and her husband.
It all started fifteen years ago."When my husband had a heart attack and sold his business," Pat said,"we were at a crossroads and wondered, 'what will we do now?'"They had successfully raised their own children, and seeing this, a friend suggested that they might consider becoming foster parents.
Well, they were taken with this idea and jumped right in. After their initial training, they soon welcomed nine-year-old Leshon into their home.
"In the beginning, we were all gung-ho," Pat said. "We thought that if we made sure he ate well, showed him we loved him, gave him better things in life, and took him places, that we were going to change his entire world."
"Let me tell you," Pat continued,"I soon found out it doesn't work that way. It's a job that you must commit to, and be clever enough to think of new ways of approaching problems and issues that this child is dealing with.They know what's in your heart and soul. They've seen so much bad."
Leshon has since graduated from high school and moved to be near his birth family in West Virginia, although Pat and her husband still keep in touch with him.
Not to rest on their laurels, Pat and her husband knew that they had more room in their hearts and home for other children.While still raising Leshon, they also fostered Dante, and another young boy, Shawn.
Pat reports that Dante is growing into a happier young man. He discovered that he's good at sports and joined his high school football team. Over the summer, he worked full-time as a camp counselor. Pat said, "As Dante sees success and stays busy, he can see a path for his future."
Their most recent foster child, Shawn, has been one of Pat's biggest challenges. Eleven-year-old Shawn was experiencing multiple problems from his abusive home life. He had developed self-destructive habits, and was fearful of many things."But to see him now, only three years later, Shawn just smiles a lot and is so loving," Pat said. He's on the honor role and has a can-do attitude that everyone around him finds endearing. In fact, Pat and her husband are hoping to adopt him. After they have made such progress and helped turn his life around, Pat explained,"I want him to stay with us and not have to go back into the foster care system."
How does Shawn feel about it? Pat said,"Sometimes he'll tell me, 'You know I'm spoiled,' and then just smiles at me." When asked if she has advice for other foster parents, Pat said,"Without a doubt, you have to love children.You don't go into this for the money, because the rewards you get are not monetary.The children creep into your heart.You can smile and look at a child and know that you've done well.That is what's rewarding."